Essay
George Gascoigne's poem, For That He Looked Not upon Her, is a perfect example of a traditional sixteenth-century poem on the theme of love. The poem is addressed towards the narrator's lover from the past, one that seems to have broken his heart and left him in a miserable state of grieving. The narrator seems pessimistic about his future as he uses numerous metaphors to articulate that he will not make a similar mistake again. Gascoigne incorporates the precise usage of the devices of form, diction, and imagery in order to portray the message of the poem and his attitude towards it.
The poem is written in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, with three quatrains and a couplet, ten syllables in each line, and iambic pentameter. Gascoigne's choice of a sonnet results in a smooth flow of his ideas and message. In contrast, if he had written in free verse, the flow of the poem may have appeared more haphazard and thus altered the message of the poem and the mood it sets. In addition, Gascoigne uses the sonnet form to categorize each idea into a quatrain or into the final couplet. The first quatrain introduces the subject of the poem, the woman who has hurt the narrator, and the affect she has on him. The second introduces a metaphor for the situation that he is and compares his actions to those of a mouse. Another metaphor is included in the third quatrain, comparing the narrator to a fly. Finally, the couplet sets a conclusion for the poem and connects with the introducing lines.
Gascoigne incorporates diction and imagery primarily to emphasize the descriptive elements he uses to enhance his message. Words such as "louring" (line 2) and "scorched" (line 9) add a sense of realism to the meaning of the sentences and contribute to the imagery in a positive manner. The method in which Gascoigne describes his metaphors are also composed of elements of imagery. The mouse "lies aloof for fear" in line 7 and creates a visual image in the readers' mind, possibly setting a mood of emotion and sympathy. The "scorched fly which once hath 'scaped the flame" (line 9) creates a painful image and once again, a mood of sympathy in the readers' minds. The usage of alliteration in lines 8 and 14 also contribute to the elements of imagery and enhance the reader's feeling of sympathy for the narrator.
For That He Looked Not upon Her by George Gascoigne tells a heartbreaking story in a descriptive manner through the author's refined incorporation of imagery and diction as well as the form of a sonnet, thus emphasizing his attitude and articulating the message in a manner exquisite enough to impact the emotions of any reader.
Reflection
I would grade my essay at 6-7 range because of my effective organization and focus on the prompt. My analysis, although not completely absent, was not as convincing and extensive as I need to be to reach the 8-9 range. I believe that I would secure a score of 6 or 7 because I was able to articulate my ideas clearly and concisely while offering a fairly rational analysis of the poem and its use of devices. I could have improved, however, by identifying further instances of imagery and diction to elaborate on those points with more examples. In future essays, I will work towards being able to look beneath the surface to recognize more profound uses of devices that the author has used to convey his message.
Revised Essay
George Gascoigne's poem, For That He Looked Not upon Her, is a perfect example of a traditional sixteenth-century poem on the theme of love. The poem is addressed towards the narrator's lover from the past, one that seems to have broken his heart and left him in a miserable state of grieving. The narrator seems pessimistic about his future as he uses numerous metaphors to articulate that he will not make a similar mistake again. Gascoigne incorporates the precise usage of the devices of form, diction, and imagery in order to portray the message of the poem and his attitude towards it, all the while using these and other devices to develop his message of grievance and betrayal through shifts throughout the poem.
The poem is written in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, with three quatrains and a couplet, ten syllables in each line, and iambic pentameter. Gascoigne's choice of a sonnet results in a smooth flow of his ideas and message. In contrast, if he had written in free verse, the flow of the poem may have appeared more haphazard and thus altered the message of the poem and the mood it sets. In addition, Gascoigne uses the sonnet form to categorize each idea into a quatrain or into the final couplet. The first quatrain introduces the subject of the poem, the woman who has hurt the narrator, and the affect she has on him. The second introduces a metaphor for the situation that he is and compares his actions to those of a mouse. Another metaphor is included in the third quatrain, comparing the narrator to a fly. Finally, the couplet sets a conclusion for the poem and connects with the introducing lines.
The major shifts in tone and focus taking place throughout the the poem are vital to the development of the speaker's attitude. The opening shot reflects the speaker talking to a woman directly, his tone appearing sorrowful as seen by his "louring head" and "no delight" in his eyes. The speaker therefore leaps straight into setting his initial tone and attitude. The next shift in focus is achieved through the incorporation of diction. The speaker explicitly states his indifference towards the current happiness of the woman through the line "gleams which on your face do grow." Furthermore, a shift in both tone and focus is then seen through the first metaphor used by the speaker, describing the mouse and its trap. The figurative language and cynical tone show the speaker's empathy with the mouse in that he too will no longer trust another after being hurt by his previous lover in lines such as "seldom 'ticed with trustless bait." The second metaphor relates the author's situation to a mouse through a shift in focus while continuing the tone from the previous example. In "play again with fire," he is thus portraying the same message and attitude of betrayal as he informs the reader that he will not put his heart in danger ever again. Finally, both tone and focus experience a shift back to the woman's eyes ("your blazing eyes my bale have bread"), also mentioned in the beginning of the poem. The use of this device of full-circle ends the poem in a conclusive manner, thus referring back to the speaker's initial attitude and comparing it with shifts seen throughout the poem.
For That He Looked Not upon Her by George Gascoigne tells a heartbreaking story in a descriptive manner through the author's refined incorporation of imagery and diction as well as the form of a sonnet, thus emphasizing the shifts in his tone, focus, and attitude and articulating the message in a manner exquisite enough to impact the emotions of any reader.
Feedback for Kelly Wu http://wukellyapenglish2015.blogspot.com/
I would grade this essay at a 5-6 level primarily because of the somewhat vague analysis of Gascoigne's use of the devices of diction and imagery. Although the analysis is constructed well and does not include any misinterpretations, Kelly could have gone more in depth when developing her points. She did a good job of using references to the text in her second paragraph, when explaining Gascoigne's use of diction. However, she did not continue doing so through the rest of her essay. Additionally, Kelly superficially touched upon the topic of the form of the poem, which was a sonnet, the author's choice of which could have had a significant purpose. It seems that Kelly ran out of time towards the end of the essay, as she rushed through the last paragraph, quickly introducing a new point without getting a chance to elaborate on it further. Because of the time constraint, she also lacked a conclusion, which could have been beneficial in bringing the essay back to a focus. I would recommend that in future essays, she manage her time more efficiently in order to have consistency throughout the piece. Finally, I would advise that Kelly stay away from using first person pronouns in the essay ("Although I have never seen a mouse trap") since this contradicts the professionalism she had used effectively before.
Feedback for Kara Lennon http://lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com
Kara does a good job of grasping certain aspects of the poem, such as the fire motif and the animal imagery. However, she briefly touches upon them and does not elaborate further, thus being somewhat superficial in her analysis. In addition, she does not answer all parts of the question, missing out on the topics of diction and form relating to the author's attitude. She uses references directly from the text when appropriate but relies merely on paraphrase when expanding upon her points. Therefore, I believe that this essay would be at level 5 since Kara needs to improve on her analysis, organization, and development to reach the 6-7 range.
George Gascoigne's poem, For That He Looked Not upon Her, is a perfect example of a traditional sixteenth-century poem on the theme of love. The poem is addressed towards the narrator's lover from the past, one that seems to have broken his heart and left him in a miserable state of grieving. The narrator seems pessimistic about his future as he uses numerous metaphors to articulate that he will not make a similar mistake again. Gascoigne incorporates the precise usage of the devices of form, diction, and imagery in order to portray the message of the poem and his attitude towards it.
The poem is written in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, with three quatrains and a couplet, ten syllables in each line, and iambic pentameter. Gascoigne's choice of a sonnet results in a smooth flow of his ideas and message. In contrast, if he had written in free verse, the flow of the poem may have appeared more haphazard and thus altered the message of the poem and the mood it sets. In addition, Gascoigne uses the sonnet form to categorize each idea into a quatrain or into the final couplet. The first quatrain introduces the subject of the poem, the woman who has hurt the narrator, and the affect she has on him. The second introduces a metaphor for the situation that he is and compares his actions to those of a mouse. Another metaphor is included in the third quatrain, comparing the narrator to a fly. Finally, the couplet sets a conclusion for the poem and connects with the introducing lines.
Gascoigne incorporates diction and imagery primarily to emphasize the descriptive elements he uses to enhance his message. Words such as "louring" (line 2) and "scorched" (line 9) add a sense of realism to the meaning of the sentences and contribute to the imagery in a positive manner. The method in which Gascoigne describes his metaphors are also composed of elements of imagery. The mouse "lies aloof for fear" in line 7 and creates a visual image in the readers' mind, possibly setting a mood of emotion and sympathy. The "scorched fly which once hath 'scaped the flame" (line 9) creates a painful image and once again, a mood of sympathy in the readers' minds. The usage of alliteration in lines 8 and 14 also contribute to the elements of imagery and enhance the reader's feeling of sympathy for the narrator.
For That He Looked Not upon Her by George Gascoigne tells a heartbreaking story in a descriptive manner through the author's refined incorporation of imagery and diction as well as the form of a sonnet, thus emphasizing his attitude and articulating the message in a manner exquisite enough to impact the emotions of any reader.
Reflection
I would grade my essay at 6-7 range because of my effective organization and focus on the prompt. My analysis, although not completely absent, was not as convincing and extensive as I need to be to reach the 8-9 range. I believe that I would secure a score of 6 or 7 because I was able to articulate my ideas clearly and concisely while offering a fairly rational analysis of the poem and its use of devices. I could have improved, however, by identifying further instances of imagery and diction to elaborate on those points with more examples. In future essays, I will work towards being able to look beneath the surface to recognize more profound uses of devices that the author has used to convey his message.
Revised Essay
George Gascoigne's poem, For That He Looked Not upon Her, is a perfect example of a traditional sixteenth-century poem on the theme of love. The poem is addressed towards the narrator's lover from the past, one that seems to have broken his heart and left him in a miserable state of grieving. The narrator seems pessimistic about his future as he uses numerous metaphors to articulate that he will not make a similar mistake again. Gascoigne incorporates the precise usage of the devices of form, diction, and imagery in order to portray the message of the poem and his attitude towards it, all the while using these and other devices to develop his message of grievance and betrayal through shifts throughout the poem.
The poem is written in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, with three quatrains and a couplet, ten syllables in each line, and iambic pentameter. Gascoigne's choice of a sonnet results in a smooth flow of his ideas and message. In contrast, if he had written in free verse, the flow of the poem may have appeared more haphazard and thus altered the message of the poem and the mood it sets. In addition, Gascoigne uses the sonnet form to categorize each idea into a quatrain or into the final couplet. The first quatrain introduces the subject of the poem, the woman who has hurt the narrator, and the affect she has on him. The second introduces a metaphor for the situation that he is and compares his actions to those of a mouse. Another metaphor is included in the third quatrain, comparing the narrator to a fly. Finally, the couplet sets a conclusion for the poem and connects with the introducing lines.
The major shifts in tone and focus taking place throughout the the poem are vital to the development of the speaker's attitude. The opening shot reflects the speaker talking to a woman directly, his tone appearing sorrowful as seen by his "louring head" and "no delight" in his eyes. The speaker therefore leaps straight into setting his initial tone and attitude. The next shift in focus is achieved through the incorporation of diction. The speaker explicitly states his indifference towards the current happiness of the woman through the line "gleams which on your face do grow." Furthermore, a shift in both tone and focus is then seen through the first metaphor used by the speaker, describing the mouse and its trap. The figurative language and cynical tone show the speaker's empathy with the mouse in that he too will no longer trust another after being hurt by his previous lover in lines such as "seldom 'ticed with trustless bait." The second metaphor relates the author's situation to a mouse through a shift in focus while continuing the tone from the previous example. In "play again with fire," he is thus portraying the same message and attitude of betrayal as he informs the reader that he will not put his heart in danger ever again. Finally, both tone and focus experience a shift back to the woman's eyes ("your blazing eyes my bale have bread"), also mentioned in the beginning of the poem. The use of this device of full-circle ends the poem in a conclusive manner, thus referring back to the speaker's initial attitude and comparing it with shifts seen throughout the poem.
For That He Looked Not upon Her by George Gascoigne tells a heartbreaking story in a descriptive manner through the author's refined incorporation of imagery and diction as well as the form of a sonnet, thus emphasizing the shifts in his tone, focus, and attitude and articulating the message in a manner exquisite enough to impact the emotions of any reader.
Feedback for Kelly Wu http://wukellyapenglish2015.blogspot.com/
I would grade this essay at a 5-6 level primarily because of the somewhat vague analysis of Gascoigne's use of the devices of diction and imagery. Although the analysis is constructed well and does not include any misinterpretations, Kelly could have gone more in depth when developing her points. She did a good job of using references to the text in her second paragraph, when explaining Gascoigne's use of diction. However, she did not continue doing so through the rest of her essay. Additionally, Kelly superficially touched upon the topic of the form of the poem, which was a sonnet, the author's choice of which could have had a significant purpose. It seems that Kelly ran out of time towards the end of the essay, as she rushed through the last paragraph, quickly introducing a new point without getting a chance to elaborate on it further. Because of the time constraint, she also lacked a conclusion, which could have been beneficial in bringing the essay back to a focus. I would recommend that in future essays, she manage her time more efficiently in order to have consistency throughout the piece. Finally, I would advise that Kelly stay away from using first person pronouns in the essay ("Although I have never seen a mouse trap") since this contradicts the professionalism she had used effectively before.
Feedback for Kara Lennon http://lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com
Kara does a good job of grasping certain aspects of the poem, such as the fire motif and the animal imagery. However, she briefly touches upon them and does not elaborate further, thus being somewhat superficial in her analysis. In addition, she does not answer all parts of the question, missing out on the topics of diction and form relating to the author's attitude. She uses references directly from the text when appropriate but relies merely on paraphrase when expanding upon her points. Therefore, I believe that this essay would be at level 5 since Kara needs to improve on her analysis, organization, and development to reach the 6-7 range.
Your essay presents an amazing knowledge and identification of the form, diction, and imagery used by Gascoigne's poem "For That He Looked Not Upon Her" but the analysis of devices does not always connect back to the attitude that you believe the author has. In the introduction paragraph you state that the "author seems pessimistic" and is "in a miserable state of grieving" which tells us your opinion but you do not elaborate further on theses feelings. Instead, you use the devices that you find to say that they help "the flow of his ideas" (paragraph 1) or "his message" (paragraph 2). Your writing is very concise and well written but it is missing the key element of connecting back to the development of the authors attitude as the prompt asks, which in turn weakens your argument. I would grade your essay as a very high 6; you "express your ideas clearly" but are "less thorough in the discussion of the attitude and devices " (rubric, 7-6). I think its very likely that you will score in the 8 range if you respond to the prompt completely.
ReplyDeleteThe speaker's attitude is reasonably addressed in the first paragraph but the complexity is not developed thoroughly or precisely. The second paragraph though relying heavily on paraphrasing demonstrates a sophisticated knowledge of the poem's form. The analysis of the 16th century sonnet and its 3 quatrains and couplet is apt and specific. The use of the mouse and fly for the two key metaphors is perceptively described and the effect is correctly described. The response is written clearly and effectively. Working on thoroughness, preciseness, and persuasiveness will lead to a stronger overall composition. These things considered, I would score this essay as a 6.
ReplyDeleteAP English responses are all new to most of us and making it poetry something most people have a terrible hard time understanding doesn't make it any easier but this score of 6 really gives off an idea of understanding. Riddhi had a great overall analysis of the poem and all of the pieces that formed the writer's complex attitude. Her discussion about the two pieces were very good except when it came to describing it in a more thorough manner. Ideas were presented in a very organized way but was not a consistent command like a 7 would of been, it happened to be very close though. Her second paragraph is what really solidified the score of 6 for me because it showed how much she really understood form and how it pertained to this piece specifically.
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